Ideas from the Mind of A Selo
by Selonianth
Summary: Just a bunch of ficlets that I know I'd never finish. Adopt away, just make sure to tell me about it.


"What do you mean you can't fix her!" Harry responded to the Matron of Hogwarts.

"I mean exactly what I said Mr. Potter," she responded calmly, "Whatever damage was done to her it is, to my knowledge, completely irreversible."

"But what about her classes. How is she supposed to go to class looking like a catgirl?" Harry asked. Hermione would be furious if she couldn't go to class.

"In all likelyhood she won't be, Mr. Potter," the old matron sighed mournfully.

"What do you mean? Why can't she go to class?" he questioned, "I don't understand."

"Miss Granger will most likely be classified as a new species of magical creature, if for no other reason than it being an excuse for the pureblood community to exclude her," Madam Pomphrey explained.

"Why couldn't she attend class though? I mean werewolves are allowed, under strict rules, but still... Why not Hermione?" Harry pressed, trying to find a reason his friend could stay.

"Because werewolves, though a magical creature, are human all but one night of the month. That's the only reason some in the Wizengamot and ICW haven't been able to force all werewolves to live in preserves like the giants," Pomphrey informed him. "And they're the only type of magical creature even allowed to carry a wand because of it," she added with a sigh.

"Her wand too? Isn't there anything I can do to help her?" Harry questioned with a pleading tone to his voice.

"I'm afraid so Mr. Potter... unless..." suddenly the old matron grinned wickedly, seeming to lose several decades and gain several orders of magnitude in pure evil. "Oh the Asian students are going to love this," she muttered under her breath.

"Um...M-madam P-pomphrey?" Harry stuttered.

"Are you aware of the laws concerning old families and their personal familiars Mr. Potter?"

Somehow, Harry thought that this line of questioning was going to lead to all kinds of trouble for him.

"So...let me get this straight," Hermione stated calmly. "I'm now classified as a magical creature, an entirely new species never previously recorded?"

"Um...yeah."

"And because I was showing up all their kids, the purebloods will most likely use this to prevent me from continuing my education?"

"At the very least."

"But Madam Pomphrey told you about some old laws concerning the Ancient Houses that allows them to do whatever they bloody want with their familiars?"

"Among other things."

"And if I were to become your familiar, I could keep my wand, attend classes under the guise of following you around, do almost anything I wanted, and there wouldn't be anything anyone could do about it?"

"...yes?" Harry asked nervously, he wasn't sure if he liked that gleam in Hermione's eye.

The next thing Harry knew, he'd been tackled to the floor by the cat hybrid.

"!" she squealed, crushing the life out of the boy.

"Air... AIR," Harry choked out around the patented Hermione-Hug-Of-Doom, hyphens not optional.

"Deal with it!" she chirped, refusing to get off of him but loosening her hold none the less.

"Thank you, but you do realize that as my familiar that you can't have a job of any sort?" Harry asked her.

"So? I could make you get the job then do the work myself! I'd be like some shadow puppet master or something!" Hermione laughed.

"So you'll make me get a job then sit on my bum as you do it?" Harry asked with a slightly amused raised eyebrow.

"No, you'll have two jobs. One that you do, and one for me!" Hermione chirped, how the hell was she so chipper?

"And if I can't get the qualifications for your job?" Harry asked with a worried look to his face.

"...I'll make you," Hermione told him, smiling ferally.

"And for that matter, why are you so happy about this?"

"...You do realize that you gave me carte blache to pursue any feild of study I choose regardless of wizarding law right?"

"And you do realize that no matter how much cramming you do I won't be able to get some of the qualifications you want for your jobs. I'm not you," he replied.

"That's what you think, Potter," she told him. "Besides, if all else fails, you could just start your own corporation or something and allow me to do whatever I want through that... in fact, lets do that anyway."

"That sounds good," Harry nodded. Anything to get out of the regiment Hermione was sure to put him through for testing. "But we have to get you registered as my familiar before someone else finds out and tries to block us," he muttered.

Suddenly Hermione perked up, tapping her chin thoughtfully, "I'm a whole new species... that means I get to make up a name for myself, right?"

"Um, yes?"

"Hm..."

"While you think about that Miss Granger perhaps you should start signing these. I filled out all relevant information other than species and your names for you," Madame Pomphrey informed them while handing them the bane of all bureaucrats, paperwork, and trying not to smile at the rather... compromising possition the two children were in.

Ah the innocence of youth... it wasn't going to last very long. Especially not if this went through.

"Oh, thank you madam," Hermione said excitedly as she took the forms and began filling them out with great gusto.

"Thank you," the elderly nurse said as she took back the completed forms a grin adorning her face. Some would claim she was just playing matchmaker. Some would claim she was just making sure both would be very happy later on. In her opinion? In the opinion of Poppy Periwinkle Pomphrey, she was stirring up a long overdue shitestorm that would rock wizarding society to its very foundations.

The fact that the two would likely live the fantasies of every asian boy, and some girls, was completely irrelevant... kinda.

"Those were the forms to register Hermione as my familiar?" Harry asked, somewhat nervous. In all honesty, this all seemed a little bassackwards to him. Wouldn't Hermione's new species need to be registered or something before she could actually be his familiar?

"And here are the forms to register yourself as a new magical creature, why they have a set of forms for this ready I have no idea," The school nurse admitted.

Meanwhile, in his office several floors away, Albus Dumbledore got that warm fuzzy feeling that signified one of his many plans to bring his people into the new mellenia coming to fruition.

'Guess that answers my question,' Harry thought. They'd just turn all the forms in together and everything would be over and done with before anyone with ill intentions could take action against them.

Hermione blazed through this set of forms too. All that was left, was to name her species...

"Excuse me, Madam Pomphrey?" called a seventh year, barging into the hospital wing without so much as a knock.

"Toidi!" the incensed matron shrieked, flicking her wand to conceal the two second years... well, second year and former second year, "How many times have I told you not to enter without announcing your presence here idiot boy! There could be patients sleeping, or changing! You're about to-"

Whatever else the irate Medi-witch was going to say was lost on Harry as he noticed that Hermione had disappeared from his lap... where she had been straddling him since she'd tackled him originally.

"Mrow..."

_'What the-'_ Harry wondered, glancing around to find a fluffy brown kitten peaking out from behind his back as Madam Pomphrey all but physically threw the inconsiderate seventh year out of her domain. "...Hermione?" Harry whispered, staring down at the cat.

The cat looked up at him and meowed firmly while nodding it's head as Madam Pomphrey made her way back up the wing.

"Stupid, inconsiderate, arrogant, absentminded-" she ranted only to stop abruptly before whipping her head around, "Mr. Potter, where did Miss Granger go!" she demanded.

"Um..." Harry pointed uncertainly at the kitten beside him.

"...Miss Granger?" Madam Pomphrey asked uncertainly as she caught sight of the little cat. _'The fur does resemble her hair I suppose...'_

"Mrow," Hermione responded, bobbing her head again.

"Do you suppose you could change back?" Madam Pomphrey asked. "You still have to-Good Gracious!" she cried as Hermione suddenly became a young lioness.

"...You know," Harry said, staring calmly at his friend-come-familiar, "I think I have the perfect name for you."

"M-mr. Potter?" Madam Pomphrey asked, trying to slow her racing heart as Hermione growled curiously.

"You can transform into a very large cat, you have a human...ish, form, and it's a magical condition. You're a Werecat," Harry stated.

Hermione cocked her head, thinking it over before releasing an approving growl.

"Homo Felis," the old medi-witch murmured, "They do have a sort of ring to them, don't they..."

Hermione growled again, lower this time, and more drawn out when Harry's hand stroked her head.

"...Are you purring?" Harry asked.

Hermione's eyes widened and she transformed into the most humanoid form she'd had since taking the polyjuice. She was devoid of fur except for the two catlike ears in place of human and a long furry tail. "Maybe..."

"How did you do that anyway?" Harry wondered

"Well," Hermione began, frowning thoughtfully, "When that boy walked in, I just... I wanted to be as small as possible, just disappear, you know? Then when you," she looked at Madam Pomphrey, "asked me to change back, I wanted to be bigger."

"And your current form, dear?" the old matron asked.

For a moment, Hermione kept silent as she pieced her thoughts together. "I just... let go, if that makes any sense."

"Hm... it would seem that your transformations are similar to an animagus, or a metamorphmagus," Madam Pomphrey mused.

"That's... good, right?" Harry asked.

"Well, at the very least, it gives us a baseline to work from," she shrugged, "If nothing else you have an idea of how to control them. As to what other abilities you may possess... well you'll have to figure that out on your own."

As she said that two owls flew through the window towards Madam Pomphrey. "I didn't tell you but I sent the forms to Gringotts Legal Department as well as to the ministry and as far as the goblins are concerned you're now a familiar and all assets at the bank are being transferred into Mr. Potters accounts as we speak. They'll make sure the whole situation goes smoothly at the ministry too if I read this right," she informed the young werecat. "And this one is for your eyes only Mr. Potter," she added handing the second envelope to him.

Harry nervously opened the official looking envelope from Gringotts. It was summons to meet with the same goblin who'd escorted him to his vaults his first year. Apparently having a sentient magical creature as a familiar enacted some old, archaic law and he needed to meet with his account manager. "When did I get an account manager?" Harry wondered out loud.

"The day your parents died. Every family like the Potters has an account manager to keep track of all the various vaults they own. He simply switched from working for your parents, to working for you unless he's fired for some reason," the nurse responded to the rhetorical question.

"...And no one has told me about this before now...why, exactly?" Harry asked.

"It is rather common knowledge to everyone who it would apply to. No one told you because likely they didn't think to tell you because they believed that you already knew. I know the teachers all thought you did, we thought your custodians at least educated you somewhat, I know they had the information..." The nurse muttered.

AN: Not Evil Dumbledore. Not even manipulative dumbledore. He gave the dursleys all the info needed to raise harry to know his status in the wizarding world. They turned around and destroyed it.


End file.
